The Baby Epidemic

Ah, there's nothing that quite defines the twenty-something experience quite like the baby/marriage epidemic that seems to spread like wildfire. It's true what they say (whoever "they" is), it comes out of nowhere. At 20 years old, you're enjoying the good life: going out and partying with your friends, staying up late for no reason, dating, going to school, working, still living at home. Three or four years later, everyone in your life suddenly starts getting engaged/married/ and popping out kids. It's all so overwhelming sometimes.

I guess I kind of fall into that category seeing as how I'm engaged and all, but more than ever, I am feeling the pressure to "get it on" and start having kids, and boy does it SUCK! Now don't get me wrong - I love kids. Kids are great. They're cute, and little, and fun to play with, and just so terrifically innocent. I do want kids...one day. But not right now. Or tomorrow. Or three months from now. Probably not even a year from now. To be honest, I don't know when I will feel like having kids, but I know that I will know when the time is right for me.

In the meantime, there is the pressure to have them and figuring out how to deal with that pressure.

Things seem to have compounded within the last few months since my nephew was born. Now it's like all eyes are on me, and I'm just trying to hide. I know in my head that I'm not ready. I'm way too selfish for kids. I'm terrified of losing my freedom/sense of self. I'm terrified of getting fat and then unable to get back in shape. Perhaps this is immature of me, but that just proves how un-ready I really am. I swear, if one more person asks me when I'm having babies I'm going to punch that unsuspecting person in the face. I mean how rude is it to put that kind of pressure on someone? I know I'm 25, but shit, I'm not ancient. I still have plenty of time. My biological clock hasn't even started ticking yet, or if it has, I sure can't hear it.

I'm sure a lot of it is just me putting pressure on myself. But I keep reminding myself that this isn't a race. It's not a competition to see how quickly I can get knocked up. Babies will come soon enough, I want to enjoy the last few years being child-free while I can. And maybe squeeze a little traveling in while I can, too.

But for now, I just wish everyone would shutup about it and back off a little bit, geesh.