I don't think it's okay to consciously keep allowing this to happen to me. As a Christian, I find this struggle to be extra difficult. Jesus teaches us to forgive others. I was reading my daily devotional booklet today, and was really struck by a particular line. It reads:
Waiting reveals those around you. Motives are not easily discerned. Trust God, but test people. That's scriptural. "The Lord your God led you...forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart." (Dt 8:2 NIV). People can keep their intentions and motives covered for a long time, but waiting generally forces the truth to surface.
I couldn't agree with this lesson more. I've always been a believer that the truth will always reveal itself, even if it takes quite some time. So once you find out what someone's intentions truly are, why keep putting yourself in their path of destruction? I really don't believe in my heart that Jesus would want us to live that way. But it's still such a fine line to walk. I think it's okay to shut people out of our lives who have proven to be hurtful, no matter how many times they apologize. Because in my mind, if someone is truly sorry for something they have done, they correct the behavior to avoid hurting you again in the future.
Forgiving entails harboring no ill feelings about an event, but forgetting means you're setting yourself up to do it/have it done to you again. If you forgive your stove for burning you, you'd better not forget that it did so for next time.
ReplyDeleteTying it into Christianity, by allowing yourself to be hurt due to repeatedly placing yourself in situations you know the outcome of, you are not respecting the gift of life given by God and reinforced by Jesus. That is something I have had to reconcile in my own spirituality, which has helped me stem depression, harmful actions, and maintaining toxic relationships. I cannot allow those things to ruin my relationship with the earth, the cycle of life, or the Ultimate Reality, and it is disrespectful of our animating force to do so.
Moreover, I think Jesus would be like, "girl, check yo' self. I can forgive people like whoa, but when they're being dumb, I still turn tables over and shit and tell them to knock it off."
I totally agree, Kayla! I really like the stove analogy you used, totally makes sense. And I like your comment about how allowing oneself to repeatedly be put into hurtful situations is not respecting the gift that God has given us all. I guess I never thought of it like that before, but it makes perfect sense!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you were able to recognize and overcome all of the painful obstacles that have affected you in your life. For me, personally, I usually find it so easy to forgive, and I hate holding grudges against people. I'm so easygoing most of the time, I'm just not bothered by much. So when I'm in a situation in which I find it difficult to forgive someone, I really really struggle with the fact that I can't find it in my heart to forgive them.