3 1/2 Months To Go!!!

I just got home from a wedding meeting with Mandi! We met at a bar so she could watch the Packer's game, lol! It was loud, and really smokey, but we managed to get a lot covered so I'm happy. The wedding is only like 3 1/2 months away, so I've been working like crazy to try and scratch things off of my master to-do list. Even though I've covered almost everything, I still have this horrible feeling like I'm forgetting something huge and it's freaking me out! I hate it. I'm such a compulsive early planner, I can't stand missing out on any detail, not matter how small. Hopefully, I won't forget anything.

Now I just need to pray that my showers and bachelorette party go well! Since it's so hard for me to release control of planning to other people, I've been really stressing about the showers. But I just need to stay calm and let someone else take the reins for once!

It makes me really sad that none of my family will be able to make it to the showers. It's just one of the many downsides to living so far away from my cousins, aunts and uncles. But since my mom is no longer here, it really is going to be me alone at these showers, even though I'll be surrounded by my friends. It sucks. I know no one will be able to fly down for the showers and the wedding - that's just asking way too much! But I still wish things could be different. Sometimes I forget how alone I really am without my mom around, and all of the things that she and I are missing out on. I just never thought that it would be this way. I'm really blessed to have as many great friends and future in-laws as I do. Even though it's not the same as having my own family around, at least I can say I have these amazing people in my life! I'll just have to make the best of it like I always do.

Wedding Pains

Trying to find a cute bridesmaid dress is turning out to be more work than I bargained for! This is actually harder than finding MY OWN DRESS was!! Gahhh, it's like I can either find a cute dress but not in the colors I want, or I can find a dress I hate in millions of colors!! So ridic. I'm about to just assign my bridesmaids to pick them for me, cuz I at this point I'm just tired of thinking about it! Such a waste of energy. And they're only gonna wear it for a day, so really, why am I even stressing about this?

Planning my wedding has been taking up a lot of my time, in general. But yet, at the same time, not enough of my time, if that makes sense. I spend a lot of time looking around at different ideas, but I have yet to actually make that many purchases. I'm ready to just start buying stuff and getting it off my chest though. I mean, with weddings, you really can go crazy and take it as far as you want to. And who really has money for that? I'm talking about your own money, not your parents. Because I sure don't! ! ! So I've been trying to curb my fantasies a bit and trying to pull myself back down to reality. It's one day of my life - I'm not going to spend years trying to pay that day off.

Maybe this should've waited 'til my thirties...

...in other news, Christmas was FANTASTIC this year!! I finally got my North Face jacket that I've been pining over for years. Sam spent weeks trying to find it:) He finally found the last one in my size and color scheme in the country at some sports store in Michigan. Now is that devotion, or what?? I'm a lucky gal, indeed! I also got a key necklace that I've been wanting, and a nice new camera that I've been needing soooo badly! My other camera isn't even old, and there's nothing really wrong with it, it just takes really crappy pictures. It's good for natural daylight photos, and that's about it. It's impossible to take good pictures indoors or in dark settings, like restaurants. So I'm super stoked that I now have this new camera to use for our upcoming honeymoon!

Sam's parents were generous, as usual! We got this badass tent and a blow up queen-size mattress so we can finally go camping with everyone! It's actually an 8 person tent with a front room and a closet, lol! Go big or go home, I guess. It was funny too cuz the first thing out of Amy's mouth was "when are you going to use THAT?!?!" Jealous little cat. As if she's some kind of rugged, seasoned camper or something. Gahh, get over yourself. Anywho, I didn't let that rude comment ruin my day! His parents LOVED the dance lessons we got them, and my dad cried when we gave him the frame of his father's WWII medals and such. I was hoping he loved it, so I was happy when he cried:) That's always a good sign! Well, most of the time anyway.

Tomorrow I'm working on more wedding stuff! Gotta get this done. Actually, I'll be working on wedding stuff allllll week since I'm on vacation! Looking forward to sleeping in.

Alice

If nothing else, I hope to always be a good person in life, with a genuine heart. I hope to learn to be more kind and forgiving, and to let go of petty problems. I hope to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, and spend copious amounts of time with the ones I love most. I hope to be an inspiration to future generations, like you are to me, Aunt Alice. All of this, I learned from you. You're no longer with us in this world, but I love you, and hope to see you in the next life. You will be missed.

One day, I would like to have a job that doesn't require me getting to work at 6:00 am. And that is all I'm going to say about work tonight.

I just got home from my brother's graduation party. My brother J, and his ex-girlfriend/kind-of-sort-of friend C graduated from Sam Houston State University yesterday with their bachelor's degree. C's degree is in Criminal Justice, and J's is in Kinesiology. Don't ask me what he's going to do with that - I don't even think he knows - but hopefully both of them will find jobs soon. The best advice I can give for new graduates in this economy is to take what you can get. I guess it's all apart of the twenties experience.

My family threw a party for the two tonight. Just a simple little gathering with cake and pizza and sandwiches. The F family stopped by, and C's family came by. She has such a nice family. It really made me miss having grandparents. I wish mine hadn't died when I so young. It makes me want to have kids soon so that way my dad and Sam's parents will be able to enjoy seeing their grandchildren grow up, and in turn, my children will enjoy getting to spend time with their grandparents before they get too old.

Except I'm not ready to have kids yet, so that will have to wait a bit.

I celebrated my 26th birthday last Saturday. Had lunch with Sam's family at Lupe Tortilla. Ended up getting a table RIGHT behind Sam's ex-girlfriend's (THE ex) family's table. Talk about irony. I must've done something in the past to deserve that kind of karma. Either that, or God really does have a sense of humor! It actually was pretty funny. It used to really bother me when she was brought up in conversation, but I'm glad to say that I've finally moved on from that stage of my life, and have matured into someone who really doesn't care much about it. They dated for about 5 years on and off and were pretty serious. That was so long ago, when he and I were both different people. She turned out to be a real zero anyway, so that makes it easier.

That night, N and I had dinner with the fam, then went to Whiskey Creek for our bday celebration. It was pretty fun! Most of the people I invited showed up, at least for a little bit, and we were able to get a small table without reservations. I like WC a lot better than Red River - less smoke and fewer trashy people. Plus, I got to ride the mechanical bull!! The whole reason I chose Whiskey Creek to begin with! I was just happy so many people stopped by. It's hard having a birthday two weeks before Christmas. Everyone is busy with Christmas parties so I usually don't plan anything. The only reason I did was because my birthday was on a Saturday this year and it wouldn't made sense NOT to do something!

Only one week left 'til Christmas:)

My Bucket List

It occurred to me tonight that I don't have a bucket list. And I really want one.

Actually, I take that back. I did start a bucket list, but I haven't updated it since October of 2009. Since I was still in GRAD SCHOOL, for crying out loud! That is completely unacceptable.

So, I've decided that I'm going to spend the next year not only creating a bucket list, but crossing things off of it as well. Consider this an early New Year's Resolution.

Here's what I've got on my list so far:

1. Write a novel
2. Join a swim club
3. Learn to dance
4. Get my MFA in Creative Writing/Literature
5. Travel to Italy
6. Get really good at scrapbooking
7. Open my own bakery
8. Start my own event planning business
9. Make cakes like you see on TV
10. Go to pastry school
11. Run a 5k
12. Compete in a half-triatholon
13. Swim with dolphins
14. Work in the Travel & Tourism industry
15. Get married (think I got that one down!)
16. Have children
17. Live in another country for 6 months
18. Get my pHD in something. Don't ask me what, but something!
19. Read the ENTIRE Bible. And probably more than once so I can retain it!

So that's what I have so far! It's not much, but it's a start.

Gotta love the holidays!!

I'm really excited that the holiday season is finally here!! It's everything I have in me right now to keep from decorating my entire apartment, lol! I'm gonna try to wait a few more days, but not sure if I'm going to make it. I just love this time of year! I love the cooler weather, and all of the excitement in the air, and getting to spend more time with family. There's just nothing better, in my opinion!

Control

In my quest to find a new job, I've realized just how impatient I really am. Well, I've always known that I'm impatient, but the newest challenge in my life has just proven this.

There's so many jobs that I would like to try in my life. Like working for a CVB, or destination marketing firm. Working for a Hospitality PR firm, or restaurant development company. Become a really good bartender. Own my own event planning facility/bakery. Marketing for a university, or other non-profit. Work for winery/become a sommelier (that would be bad-a!). Travel writer/freelance writer, and lastly, become a university professor. Yeah, that's my game plan, though not necessarily in that order, lol! So many jobs, so little time!

And that's exactly my point. I am so driven, that I tend to forget that progress comes in stages, not all at once. I am such an achiever, that I get frustrated by slow progression - I want it all at once, and I want it NOW! What I need to do, is sit back and relax and learn to appreciate the opportunities that God has ALREADY placed in my life. I'm so focused on the present, that I am not living in the present, and it's soooooo important to live in the moment. I need to let God call the shots, and relinquish my need to be in control all the time. After all, He is in control, not me. I cannot achieve success without Him, so it's best to just let Him do His thing.