I have been pretty unmotivated to write lately. Mostly because nothing new is really going on in my life. In fact, it irritates me now when people ask me "what's new?". I have nothing to say to them. Not their fault, but my exceedingly boring life's fault.
July and August have to be my two least favorite months of the year, particularly August. At least July has Independence Day going for it, which usually means fireworks in any given year other than this year. Stupid drought. So that leaves August hanging in July's shadows. It's hot. Very hot. Always very hot. Without fail. And usually very humid in Houston. Save for this year. Stupid drought. They only two saving graces of August are that my dad and my youngest brother have birthdays during this terrible month. It also used to mean the beginning of a new school year for me, but that hasn't been the case for some time now.
I miss school. I miss constant learning. Wish I could be a student for life (and get paid for it). Future professor, maybe? We shall see.
This job search thing has been bummin' me out big time. I am not one of those fortunate people who find new jobs at the drop of a hat. It has always been hard for me to find new work. Not sure why. Of course the dreamer in me would love nothing more than to say screw the corporate world and start my own business. You know, 'stick it to the man' type stuff. I'm so sick and tired of feeling like I'm held captive by the lure and temptation of a stable corporate job and paycheck. I would love nothing more than to just break free of this hold.
In my heart, I have this overwhelming desire to start a business, but the vision I have is not quite clear as to what that business would be. But it's something I think about every day. I wish I had the cajones to just say to hell with all of my fears, jump in head first, and get things going. But the more practical side of me (the one that tends to dominate my life) says to think twice. So there's basically a power struggle going on between my head and heart. I think I just need more time for the dream to unravel itself.
In the meantime, I will remain frustrated and pursue work that at least pays me well if nothing else.
I watched this show tonight called Picker Sisters on the History Channel. It's basically about these two women, both designers, who travel around the country 'picking' what is seemingly junk, bring it back to their LA studio, and turn it into functional design pieces such as chandeliers and outdoor furniture. How cool is that? I mean that would be such an amazingly fun job! I was so inspired by their work. I know they are just starting out, but I think they will be successful.
It seems people are trending back to wanting more unique, one-of-a-kind pieces of furniture, home decor and the like, which I am thrilled about! Lately, I have been regretting the fact that I stopped pursuing arts and crafts projects when I was younger in pursuit of school classes that were more "stable" and would make me money in the future. It's upsetting how we encourage this type of behavior in our youth instead of encouraging them to pursue the things they enjoy. This is what happened to me, and I soooooo regret it. I mean look where it has gotten me. With two degrees and no stable employment.
Wish I would've listened to my own gut instincts instead of taking everyone else's advice over what I felt was right. Lesson learned.
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