What's in a name, anyway?

So, I have a confession to make. Went down to the Social Security Office to (finally) change my name on Friday - and totally freaked and left.

Maybe it was that reality was finally hitting me in the phase. You see, I didn't really think that changing my last name would bother me as much as it did when I was finally faced with filling out the paper work and going through with it. I surprised myself, really! Since the wedding in May, I've been going by my new last name, trying to get used to the feel of it. And I really do like my new last name! It is easy to pronounce and spell, a far cry from my maiden name. And after 26 years of strangers, and even friends, butchering the spelling and pronunciation of my maiden name, I came to look forward to changing it to something much more fool-proof.

Yet, there I was sitting in a room full of mopey-faced people and crying babies, struggling to fill out a simple name-change form. What was the name currently on my SS card? What did I want to change it to? Well, that was a good question. Did I want to take the path of my mother, who substituted her maiden name for her middle name? Would it be disrespectful to her memory if I didn't? Better yet, would I be a disgrace to feminism, and all of the women who worked so hard to make sure I had the choice? The problem is, I really like my initials the way they currently are. And my middle name. And, unlike some women, changing my middle name to my maiden name (first + maiden + last = full new name, for those who are confused) would mean a mouthful of a name to use as an introduction. And for strangers. Who already butcher my name as is. With that said, do I just drop my maiden name altogether? Or even (gasp!) hyphenate my maiden and last name? This last alternative wouldn't really work for me. For some reason, my husband thinks it's ridiculous for women to hyphenate their last name with their husband's last name. I guess it's a respect thing for him, I don't really know. At the end of the day, it's really only MY choice what to do about my name. But, if there's one thing I've learned about relationships, it's that you have to choose your battles. And hyphenation is not a battle worth fighting, in my eyes.

So that really only leaves me with one choice, the choice I'd decided to go with all along: drop my maiden name in favor of taking my husband's name. A simple task. But if it was so simple, than why was it so hard for me to go through with? I got a little emotional filling out that SS form. My last name has been an integral part of my identity my entire life. It felt weird that it would no longer be a part of who I am. Or would it? I mean does changing my last name really change who I am? Not really. I'm still the same person. I still have the same life story. I still have the same characteristics that have come to represent my family. In fact, the only difference would be the letters coming after my first name. So why am I making a big deal out of nothing? Problem solved.

Now that I've come to terms with the name change, I need to figure out in which order I need to change ALL of legal documents (gahhh!!): SS card, then license, then post office, then banks? How will the postal service know to deliver my new SS card if the name on my address is still my maiden? Do I need proof of ID to change my name at the Post Office? I don't think so, but I'm not sure. Do I change both my mailing and permanent? Maybe the order should be: SS card, post office, license, bank accounts, etc. Yeah, I think I'll try that.

This is going to take forever.