That time of year is quickly approaching. Ya know, the time where you re-evaluate your life and how it's played out over the past year - what you did, what you didn't do, what you could've done better, what you learned. At least, that's what I always do. Boy, did I learn A LOT.
My year started with recovering from a robbery that left me pretty shaken and distrustful of others. I still have a hard time leaving my house; I always have that fear in the back of my mind that something will happen when I'm gone. But, there are just some things I can't control, and getting robbed happens to be one of them. At least to an extent.
I spent a few months struggling with my decision to stay in grad school. For awhile there, I contemplated quitting. I still wonder if it was the right thing to do, but at the end of the day, even if a master's degree doesn't land me a great job, it's still a great personal accomplishment. One that cost $30,000, so it better come in handy for something! I look back on my grad school experience with mixed emotions. Overall, it was a great experience, one that I learned a lot from. I learned that, though I didn't necessarily pick the "best" program, I probably learned more from the negatives of my experience than all of the possible positives combined from a so-called "perfect" program. I learned about the character of certain individuals in positions of power, and how it's not always good. I learned that supposedly mature adults can still treat you like shit and try to belittle you, and how important it is to stand up for yourself, even when it goes against popular opinion. I learned that, no matter how long you have had a relationship with someone, it takes work to keep it not just going, but going well. I learned that you can't always trust your colleagues. I learned how to take on a job that I had NO idea how to do, and excel at it. I learned that people often let their petty jealousies get in the way of forging friendships. I learned that, not matter how hard you try, sometimes you'll just never fit in. And that's okay. On that note, I learned that if it's meant to be, it will be. I learned to have faith that things will work out how they're supposed to. I learned that people will often judge you falsely, and sometimes it takes a little work to change the way people see you. I learned that college students can be really, really lazy. I learned how to have a BLAST at work. I learned that sometimes your friends can make big mistakes, and how to forgive them for it, even when you know they are wrong. Overall, I learned that no experience in life is perfect, and you must learn to take the good with the bad, and make the most of it.
I think they highlight of my year was getting to see my family on the East Coast that I haven't seen in 3 years. That's just way too long to go without seeing the people I love the most. I will never let that much time pass before I see them again. Being around them takes me back to a time in my life when things were so much simpler, and I was so much happier. Not that I'm unhappy now, but it's different. They remind me of who I am, and who I was, and how important it is to never forget where I came from.
2009 will remind me of the friendships I forged, and how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life.
I really hope that 2010 is a good year for me. I have a feeling it will be. It will be the first full year that I won't be in school. This will be both good and bad for me. Good in the sense that it's time to pursue some non-academic endeavors in my life, but bad in that I really, really like school, and will miss it. I can't wait to see what the new year brings.
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